Mary's Lullaby
by Celestial-Cas
Summary: Dean has a dream of his mother when he was young and she was still alive. He wakes up to find Cas at the end of his bed. What will Castiel do to help Dean? Fluff. Sucky summery, promise it's better than it sounds. Rated for some language.


Thunder rumbled overhead, Sam began to cry in his crib. Mary got out of bed and made her way to his room, when she got there she found Dean standing next to his crib. The four year old was shushing Sam trying to comfort him. Mary smiled; he was so sweet, such a good big brother. She made her way over and picked Dean up, he wrapped his arms around her and curled into her side.

"Sammy's scared Mommy," he whispered to her.

"I know," Mary whispered back, his concern for his littler brother was so cute.

"Will you sing for him," Dean asked, "that always makes me feel better."

"I think I can do that," she replied with soft smile.

She hummed a tune for a moment and Dean smiled, he loved this song. "Carry on my way ward son, there be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more."

Mary's soft melodic voice filled the nursery; Sam fell quiet almost instantly at the sound of it. Dean smiled and tucked his head in the crook of her neck. He wouldn't admit it but the storm was scaring him a bit too. "Once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion. I was soring ever higher, but I flew to high," she continued gently.

Sammy's eyes slowly began to droop and his mouth gaped in a large yawn, "Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man, though my mind could think I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them say."

Dean was struggling to stay awake; he just wanted to hear her voice. Mary began to sway softly, rocking Dean in her arms, "Carry on my way ward son, they'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more."

She hummed the tune softly in his ear and try as hard as he might he couldn't stay awake. His eyes closed and his breathe evened, Mary whispered good night to Sam before walking to Dean's room. She laid him in the bed, pulled the covers up, and tucked him in. Mary kissed him on the forehead before turning to leave, she paused at the door and then turned to him, "Angels are watching over you."

Dean bolted up in his bed, a loud clap of thunder fading away. He lay back down and focused on slowing his breathing. Bring his hand up he wiped his brow, the amount of sweat there made him grimace in displeasure. That fucking dream, why can't he forget it. This always happens, every time a storm rolls in during the night he had that dream. It was a happy dream of his mom singing to him and Sammy yet it felt more like a nightmare.

He was use to this by now, dealing with the dream. He couldn't go back to sleep now, so instead he would get up and grabbed his duffel. Dean would dump it on his bed and then go through all his weapons. He would take apart and clean every gun, sharpen every knife, make sure the Holy Water was blessed right, he would check every piece of equipment he owned. Usually this didn't fill up the whole time before Sammy woke up so he's put his back up and then do the same to Sam's weapons. Sometimes he'd still have a few hours so he'd open a beer and watch whatever crap was on T.V. It usually didn't end with one beer and by the time Sam woke up, he was wasted.

Sam understood because one time Dean was out of it enough to actually tell Sam what had happened. So instead of getting onto Dean he would just take the bottles away and help him to the bed. When Dean woke up with a killer hangover, Sammy would be there with a bottle of pain pills and glass of soda; Dean always refused to drink water at times like this, none of that health bullshit.

But tonight wasn't like normal, because tonight Castiel was standing at the foot of Dean's bed. Dean's green eyes lock on him, his head was titled and his face was nothing but concern and distress. Seeing Dean was awake he moved closer, but made sure to stay at a safe distance; wouldn't want to invade Dean personal space.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked upset; he didn't want Cas to see him like this.

"I dropped by to talk," Cas said, not elaborating any further.

"At," Dean paused to look at the clock, "at 4:30 in the morning?"

"I wasn't thinking of the time, I didn't realize how late it was until I got here," Cas replied voice void of emotion.

"Then why didn't you leave?" Dean asked. He hated that Cas had see him like this, weak and scared. He wanted him to leave as quickly as possible.

"Because you were tossing around and crying out in your sleep," Cas answer, his blue eyes fixed intently on Dean, "I couldn't just leave you like that and I wasn't sure if I should wake you or not. I was about to when you woke up."

"Well I'm up now, so you can go," Dean said sliding out of bed.

He headed for the kitchen he needed a beer ASAP. Cas followed behind him, not saying anything but not leaving either. Dean pulled the fridge door open and grabbed a beer before popping the top. He took a long swig, feeling the alcohol slide down his throat. The slight burn comforted him in away that it really shouldn't have.

"Dean," Cas spoke softly catching Dean off guard, "what was your dream about?"

Dean scowled; he was not going to talk about this. He'd only told Sam on accident so why the hell would he tell Castiel on purpose? Rolling his eyes at the angel he shoved past him and moved to the coach. He doubted he could get him to leave by command, but he could just ignore him until he did.

Castiel sighed, "Dean I know you don't like 'chick-flick' moments, but this is something you need to talk about. It's not good for you to keep it bottle up like this."

His gravely voice was laced with so much concern it made Dean pause in his next drink. Why did Cas care so much, it wasn't his problem in the slightest? Rubbing his eyes he relaxed into the couch, why did he get stuck with the complicated angel? Castiel studied him, watching his movements trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Look Cas, I get you're trying to help and all but I'm fine man, no need to worry. Besides it's not your problem to worry about," Dean said, giving Cas a sideways glance.

He brought the bottle up for another swig but almost choked on Castiel's response. "You are mine to worry about Dean, and that will never change."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Dean sputtered out, turning to look at Cas.

"You matter to me, so you are mine to worry over. You are obviously not alright, no matter how much you insisted other wise. I'm not going to leave until I know you're okay, really okay and that doesn't mean when you've shoved all your emotions away and are able to fool others into thinking it all better."

Dean blinked, stunned at Castiel's speech. When did Cas figure him out so well? Shaking his head he shoved that question to the back of his mind. He moved to take another drink, but Castiel moved faster. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of Dean, he grabbed the bottle and set it on the table behind him. It was out of Dean's reach and he'd have to fight around Cas to get it. He huffed in annoyance.

"Cas, give that back," he demanded, sticking his hand out.

"No," Cas refused, Dean stared at him in awe. Castiel rarely refused him, especially over something as trivial as this. "I will not sit here and watch you drink yourself into another stupor," Castiel hissed at him.

Dean's jaw dropped, what was up with Cas? He never spoke to Dean like that, with so much emotion in his voice. "Cas, buddy what's going on?" he asked confused.

"What's going on? I will tell you Dean Winchester," he spat, Dean flinched at the use of his full name, "I am tired of seeing you run yourself into the ground. I will not sit by and watch you kill yourself slowly!"

"Cas," was all Dean could manage to force out of his throat.

Emerald green met storm blue as Castiel locked eyes with Dean. Suddenly Dean found himself pulled to his feet and crushed against Castiel. He felt Cas wrap his arms around him and he realized that Cas was hugging him. His brain fried, what was he supposed to do? This wasn't a situation he ever expected to find himself in and he was at a loss for a course of action.

"Just give it up Dean," Castiel said softly, his deep voice cutting through Dean's thoughts, "you can't hide anything from me. We share a profound bond, remember? Just let me help you."

And then Dean did the last thing he ever expected himself to do, he cried. He clung to Castiel and sobbed, he was grateful now that the hotel only had rooms with one bed left so Sammy wasn't here to see. Castiel didn't say anything or do anything, he just held Dean as he shook and for that he was grateful as well. After a few minutes he began to calm down and suck in deep breaths, Cas gently stroked his had through his short brown hair.

"Where were you?" Dean found himself asking before he could stop.

"When, what are you asking Dean?" Cas asked softly, his hand never stopping it soothing strokes.

Dean wanted to curse for his slip of the tongue but figured he was too far to back down now. "When my mom," Dean couldn't finish the statement but Castiel knew what he meant, "where were you?"

Castiel sighed, "I was blindly following the orders of my brothers and sisters."

"But why didn't you save her?" Dean knew he was being unfair but he couldn't help it.

"Because I didn't know I needed to," Cas whispered back.

Dean gritted his teeth and shoved Cas away, "What are angels good for if you don't help good people when they're in need? She believed in you! She told me every night angels where watching over me! But where were you when she needed you?"

Tears where welling up in Dean's eyes again, threatening to spill over at any moment. Castiel looked at Dean with such sorrow in his eyes and it made Dean feel horrible, but this was it. This was how he felt, these were the questions he shoved away with his emotions and if Cas wanted him to open up he would deal with the ugliness of it. He looked away, unable to keep looking into Castiel's eyes.

"You have no idea how much I regret not being there, I wish I had saved her. I wish I could have given you a childhood where you didn't have to shoot monsters and kill ghost or exorcise demons. I wish I could have given you years of smiles and laughter, filled with her baked pies. I regret everyday of my existence not saving her, but I can't change it Dean. I can only keep my promise to her," Cas said, his eyes down cast even though Dean was already looking away.

Dean's head snapped back to Castiel, "Promise?"

"When we went back, I spoke with her. I told her of the great man you had become and she was upset that you had become a hunter, but I promised her I would look after you," Cas said hoping Dean wouldn't get too mad at him.

Dean walked towards him slowly; he resisted the urge to move away from him. Whatever Dean did to him, he could handle and right now it was what Dean needed. But instead Dean of hitting him, he collapsed against Cas's chest and wrapped his arms around his waist. He squeezed Cas close and Castiel let him, they stood like that for a few moments. Finally Dean pulled away.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" Castiel asked, titling his head.

"Giving her hope, giving her peace of mind," Dean choked out, "she clung onto that promise till the day she died."

Cas smiled softly, "I was only telling her the truth. I will watch over you until the end of my days Dean Winchester."

Dean looked at him dumb founded. Why did this incredible, holy, warrior of fucking God, care so much for him? It didn't make sense to him.

"Why?" he whispered out loud.

Castiel's smile grew; he brought his hand up and cupped Dean's face. His look him in dead in the eyes and said, "Because with all of my being, I love you."

Dean gasped, the pure devotion he saw in Cas's blue orbs were like a slap to the face. He refused to believe that such a perfect being could care so deeply for him, but the truth in those eyes would not be disputed. Unable to hold them back any longer, his tears finally spilled over. Castiel gently wiped them away, never removing his eyes from Dean's.

Dean opened his mouth to say something but then closed it because what was he going to say? What could he say? He just received a confession of love from an angel, his angel, Castiel. He felt so lost at the moment, this was never something he'd expected to hear from anyone let alone Cas. Finally it hit him and he said the only thing he could.

"I love you too," it was a barely audible whisper, but the truth behind it was no less powerful.

Castiel stared at Dean for a moment, certain he had heard him wrong. When Dean did not repeat his statement he knew he'd hear him correctly. With a smile that could make even the most jaded man happy, Castiel pulled Dean into a hug. Pulling back he kissed Dean on the forehead, then his cheek, before finally planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

Dean slowly brought his hand up to feel his lips before look up at Castiel. Smiling he leaned up and returned the kiss, while still innocent this kiss was the slightest bit deeper. It was filled with passion words could never have spoken. Dean broke away with a smile and grabbed Castiel's hand, guiding him to the bed.

"Strip, I'm tired and want to go back to sleep."

Castiel wanted to remind Dean he didn't need sleep but instead started to remove his trench coat. Once down to his boxer he climbed into bed next to Dean and cuddle up to his side. He tucked his head under Dean's chin, who in turn wrapped his arms around Castiel. Releasing a content sigh Dean began to drift off. Maybe his dream wasn't such a nightmare after all.


End file.
